Always Learning

Since I started a new degree program last year, I've remembered that I actually do like learning new things. I've done well in all my classes. But I also find myself falling back into some of the mental habits from school. If I don't get an A, then I FAILED. I worry what the other students will think of me, what the teacher will think of me. Stuff like that. On the plus side, this isn't very powerful. I think I'm mostly able to kick the bad thoughts out of my brain. I just need to pass the class, not excel. If I lose points for something I did wrong, oh well. If I think the point deduction was unfair, I can complain. If the class doesn't seem to be doing what I want it to, I can address that with the teacher. So, it seems I've learned at least somewhat how to have a more healthy mental mindset about this school thing.

Sadly, this isn't the same in all situations. Work, church, roommates--all more complicated situations. I haven't quite been able to rid myself of the acceptance of emotional responsibility for things that I don't actually have responsibility for. Or something. Is blogging at 1am a good thing or a bad thing? Or just a thing? It should be a thing, since it seems about the only time I pause to think about these things. Which is probably because I spend a good part of the day trying to avoid thinking about them. But, on the plus side I can tell how much I've learned about video games through playing Thief: Gold. Or at least trying to. The controls are soooo clunky compared to other games I'm used to. I can't strafe or even back up! Who can't walk backwards? Apparently, Garret. Some Master Thief he is! *disdainful sniff*

One thing I haven't learned yet is how to sleep. Even with ambien. *sigh* If this takes much longer, I may end up getting up and doing some more room-cleaning. Which is terrifying for all concerned. There are whole families of dust bunnies I would disturb!